


reset

by haogender



Series: rant fics [4]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Autism, Autistic Character, Depression, Internalised ableism, Meltdown, Mental Health Issues, internalized ableism, sensory issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:39:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24797812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haogender/pseuds/haogender
Summary: this was like when you’re playing a game and it crashes and you need to restart. that’s his brain.—vent fic.
Series: rant fics [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1713940
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	reset

wonwoo was ready to cry. he prepared, always prepared. locked the bedroom door, said he was going to nap (nap, nap, nap). they took it as a ‘leave me alone and be quiet’, which wonwoo guessed it was. once a week, every saturday, everything was good on a saturday and wonwoo needed that time. he needed the time to cry and breathe, breathe when there were bad noises in his head and when he could hear everyone in the apartment moving and when he needed everything to shut up.

he used to go to the studio- to jihoon’s studio, to the universe factory. he would lie down on the couch and stare at the ceiling and the lights and breathe. jihoon found out someone had been coming when he wasn’t there and changed the password. it’s not like he knew why wonwoo was there or who was even coming in, and wonwoo was too embarrassed to tell him (he was weird, who needs a break from real life?).

and sometimes, hey, sometimes they wouldn’t quiet down. and he shouldn’t expect them to- it’s not like he asked, he never asked, never. but he would hear, hear the noise, bad noise, their voices from the living room and their individual rooms. and he would get angry, so angry, and cry because he couldn’t handle being angry like this at his friends, his family.

wonwoo was on the floor. on the floor, clutching his pillow against his chest, sitting with his back against the side of his bed.

he was on the floor clutching said tearstained pillow when seungcheol ( run, run, run! ) opened the door. didn’t lock, forgot to lock, how could he? stupid, stupid, stupid.

he was talking, was he talking? his mouth moved, it was moving and there were sounds, noises and wonwoo couldnt  understand .

seungcheol looked sad, so sad (sad, sad, sad) and wonwoo couldn’t breathe or speak or understand. he clutched the pillow tighter as seungcheol approached.

safe?

seungcheol was talking, why was he still talking? couldn’t he tell wonwoo didn’t understand? couldn’t he know? why didn’t he know? why didn’t he understand? why didn’t-

seungcheol’s hand was on his arm.

why? what was he doing? what was he saying?

he was speaking, there were words, he could see them, hear them, if he touched seungcheol’s chest or neck he could feel them but-

oh. his brain just went silent.

this was like when you’re playing a game and it crashes and you need to restart. that’s his brain.

restarting.

nothing.

a moment, a moment, a moment.

and now he wants to cry, because it all comes so hard at him. like his brain can’t handle so much at once, needs a break.

seungcheol is sitting and he’s not talking and wonwoo kind of wants to sob really loudly, but that’s humiliating, isn’t it?

wonwoo feels like he’s going to die.

he wants to be angry right now, wants to yell and maybe fight but he knows he’ll feel like shit after.

it doesn’t stop him from feeling bad.

he feels bad.

wonwoo needs to breathe better.

**Author's Note:**

> i can’t breathe sometimes


End file.
